She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
