The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Randomize
