So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
