I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
