You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
