Plan B is the new Plan A
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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