it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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