no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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