I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
