put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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