The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
