Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
