i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
