she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
