i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
