Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
