Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
