Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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