As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
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