He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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