I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
