Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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