I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My vagina is very pro this idea
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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