thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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