I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
