True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
