Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
sex in a hospital.. check
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
