party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
