talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I am one with the molecules
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
