Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
