Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize