Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize