ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
