he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
