What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize