Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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