dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
