wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
