My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
