I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize