Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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