One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
