After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
