I need help removing her.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
