he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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