I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
