Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Randomize
