how can u be prego again
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
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