you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize