Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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