You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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