Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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