Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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