Welp...herpes.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
