Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
