So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
When are your genitals available?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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