your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
