so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
