The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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