East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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