Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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