We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
