Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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