remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
be right there i have to get my cape
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
