Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
