This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
vagina is talking i cant
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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