I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
so much tequila, so little girl.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
