He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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