i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
