my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
