I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i dont even know how to be here
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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