the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize
